Friday, January 21, 2005

Chinese New Year....

Somehow I really couldn't understand what is so big deal about Chinese new year. Being a Chinese myself, I just know that its the event of the year. For all Chinese, its the time when everyone from the family gather together. A reunion where everyone would be celebrating it New clothes, house cleaning, pomelo leaf for shower, the big reunion feast, red packets, gambling, no sweeping, visiting relatives, lion dance, fire crackers, bang bang boom!!

I mean, its a festival thingy. But, what so big deal about it anyway.? It comes and goes every year. Is it because its simply a time for reunion.? Because most families are only reunited during this time of the year.? But honestly, why do you need such events or festival to gather everyone.? I mean, if u really have the heart for it, you wouldn't need a reason to gather isn't it.?

Okay. So it could mean its a new beginning for everyone, like change over a new leaf or anything and wiped off all the bad things last year and live a better year. But well, the coming year or the so called better year rarely happens doesn't it.? Even if it did, people hardly recognize it. 99 percent of people actually complained about what a bad year they had even though its better than the previous year. They're blinded by the "bad things" that happen that year and naturally the " good things" that happen that year too became invisible. Not to mention., why does people need a date or a festival to mark a new beginning.? You can just do it any minute isn't it.? (that's providing you have the heart and really determine to do it) Talking about new year resolution.

Even though I don't understand bout the real meaning of Chinese New Year. I still enjoy it. Its a time for holiday. To have fun. To see everyone and fool around. To get red packets and gamble.

Well at least its a happy event. A happy time to be together with the family. Because well, there's another Chinese custom in which where usually 100 percent of the entire family turn up for it because normally there are still some people who couldn't make it to celebrate CNY with their family back in their hometown. After all, it still comes every year isn't it. And what event is this.?


I know it sucks and its not good to say about it. But its just too bloody true to ignore it. In a funeral, its where everybody comes out. I mean EVERYBODY. Most families need such an occasion to get everyone out there at the same time. Its a very embarrassing matter. Why does it need such a sad and somber event to gather everyone. Note, its gather, not unite. Its pretty sickening. Whether everyone turn up to pay their last respect, to bid goodbye or simply to see the deceased for one last time or just because its their responsibility for they're part of the family. Physically only, not in the heart. For they could always gather together. Have regular reunions. If they're a real family with a family spirit and heart. Not to mention those who didn't even attend the funeral. Or "appear" during Chinese new year.

The first time I saw all of my dad's siblings together at the same time is during my grandfather's funeral. I mean, I saw all of them before but separately. Not all at once. And I guess its a once in a lifetime thingy. And this happen almost 3 years ago. Before that, we still celebrate Chinese new year together. But my dad's brothers rarely turned up, everytime its only my dad. And his sisters. Well my dad has a whole bunch of siblings.

This year, I'm going back to Sandakan to celebrate Chinese new year. After my paternal grandfather went away, we didn't went back for Chinese new year.. After all its kinda pointless since grandfather is not there anymore. Well grandfather DOESN'T travel and I can always see my maternal grandpa and granny since their regular guests in my home here. Yupp Sandakan is my hometown. And we thought it would be nice to go back this year, to my grandpa and granny's place. After all, we're still a nice big family. And its our hometown....=)


Sunday, January 16, 2005

Beyond Expectations

The world is always full of wonders, disbelief, miracles, surprises and unexpected happenings. These are so common that we're so used to it. Not forgetting, the usual human self defense in believing things that we didn't expect. For all these things always has a hard way to get acknowledged, believed or simply being accepted as a fact.

When things go way out of control or when unexpected things happen, the invisible wall of human defense starts to create reasons. Or find someone to blame in order to convince ourselves that everything is alright. In other words, to cover it. After a series of all these "self convince", no matter what, we still have to accept everything. Those unexpected occurrence that happens in our everyday life. So often that you wouldn't even realize that it actually happened.

The most popular reason is, NOTHING IS PERFECT, NO ONE IS PERFECT, which comes along with TIME WILL HEAL or SOONER OR LATER EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. And how are we humans dealing with it.? Still the same old series of self-convincing, self reassuring and finally self evaluation.

What we always expect, never seems to happens isn't it.? While what we didn't expect, always managed to create a little surprise. What it seems to be, isn't always what it is. What it doesn't seems to be isn't always right too. Everything are always either underestimated or simply above the line. Whether its invisible to the naked eye or simply the naked eye sees to much.

Well ,its still the same today even with changes filling here and there. The difference is only the ways of people accepting the fact. After all, nothing is perfect.


Saturday, January 08, 2005


Real beauty lies not in physical appearance, but in the heart.
Real treasures lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen.
Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what is done but not known.

True love doesnt consists of holding hands, it consists of holding hearts.
True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Bitterness & Love

Bitterness imprisons life, love releases it.
Bitterness paralyses life, love empowers it.
Bitterness sours life, love sweetens it.
Bitterness sickens life, love heals it.
Bitterness blinds life, love anoints its eyes.

-Harry Emerson Fosdick