Monday, May 09, 2005

05.05.05

05.05.2005..2250

I have been getting lots and lots of idea cramming in my brain cells at the same time which is both good and bad. But the thing is, when you know you don't have the time to blog or you just couldn't blog (compliments of tmnet), It's like, my mind is really killing me. I resist the idea of writing it down, I don't like the idea of writing my thoughts in public where there's too much of distraction. And I'm a easily distracted person. Once distracted, I could loss my mood, and temporarily loss my motivation. Hahaha. I sound like some sort of writer or journalist who just got knock at their doors during their busiest time of the century.

Anyway, I'm getting sick of childish person. Undeniable that there's a child within each person that occasionally will be revealed when it's relevant or when nature's strikes. But it gets irritating when the supposedly innocent act got out of hand. And earn a new image of immature and naive instead of the 'child within' in which is acceptable if not misused. I'm not saying that I'm a very mature person but I know when it's essential to behave myself and when to get a little immature and have fun. But as it's usually is, I tend to drop to the lowest level of all at home. Because no matter how hard I try, I'm still the youngest 'endangered protected species' which is forever the baby. It's not like I'm not taken seriously, but it's just hard to bite back and turn old and mature all of a sudden. In other words, my mature side is more visible to outsiders.

Another weakness of most homo sapiens is that we're always too blinded by the weaknesses and past of people and most of the time couldn't see the change or the good sight of them until it's too late. Could it be the nature of each person self defense in which their afraid they'll lose.? Or simply because they're too narrow minded to believe it even if everything is shove under their very nose.? This is when nature calls. It's pretty sickening when you're trying so hard but they won't accept it just because you had a past. In other words, you were wrong before. Or simply because you don't use to behave like that and the sudden change is unacceptable to most people for they find it threatening of their usual self compared to others drastic improvements or simply they're too thick to believe something called 'change over a new leaf'. And this is only when the sudden change is something good. If it's something bad, It'll just swarm right into their brain cells at the very first moment without any negligence and remain there for the rest of their lives. This annoying perspective is the nature for most people. For well, humans are the usual selfish person who isn't so generous to turn a blind eye for other people's weak spot.

05.05.2005..2320

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