Thursday, June 08, 2006

Ambiguous relationship

It reflects a bond between two person that's closer than best friends, yet further than a family member.

Mutual feelings between each other obviously exist, but both are perfectly aware that its not solid nor rich enough to embark on an actual relationship.

It's where you fully understood that life has too many things that cannot be altered, too many questions without answers and reality has too many limits and barriers for you to conquer. You knew something are just meant to be impossible, but you just wouldn't let go. Perhaps, you can't.?

It's the foggy state when you're armed with the impulse to move things a step forward, but unfortunately, are not accompanied by the courage to do so. And hence, stay stationary.

One never confesses how he feels, while the other always acts innocent. In the end, one's forever a mute, one's forever an actor. Both, remain unknown.

It's a bond where she's not your lover, yet she cares and understands you more than your partner does.

She's the FRIEND that would text you just to remind you to take your medicine, put on extra clothing, tighten your cozy blanket and sleep early whenever you've caught cold after the weather turns chilly.

She's without a doubt someone you can call in the wee hours and chat with whenever insomnia attacks and you couldn't sleep. And you're just too afraid and hardly has the heart to disturb your sound asleep girlfriend.

When problem strikes and you just couldn't solve it, and your partner is unreachable or simply it's something you can't tell her, she's the first person that comes into your mind.

When ever she mentions her other half, it pains your heart so deeply, but yet, you sincerely wish her all the best. While cursing him madly of course!! After all, just because you can't have her, doesn't mean someone else can..!!

You know perfectly well that if you load her with your relationship problems, you would worry her and even saddens her at times. But then, besides her, you have no one else to go to.

What you've gone through together is like bitter sweet chocolate, but yet, nothing real actually happened before. After all, the two of you never really did begin. You're deeply in doubt, very uncertain with what you've gained and what you lost all this while with her.

It's where you always misunderstand your actual relationship with her. You're afraid once you clear things up and tell her what's on your mind all the time, nothing but the truth, not only you might shoo away a potential lover, you could lost a best friend too.

It's when you can't see her, you miss her. But when she's right in front of you, it doesn't feel like more than anything out of the ordinary.

It's when both of you ponders at the same question. With you wondering all the time whether has she shows you any signs yet.? And there you go, start self criticizing that you're just over reacting and thinking too much. Perhaps, you're the only one feeling all these itsy bitsy teenie weenie goosebumps, the only one with a quicken heart beat and sweaty palms.?

Could it be.?

Yes, I know I suck big in Chinese and trust me, with my level of literacy in Chinese, this took me quite a while to so called translate it. Yes I do admit that I'm ego and decides to add in a little something something of my own just to add up the juices a little. Haha.

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