Tuesday, June 06, 2006


My head was screaming inside with migraine and I was alone in the dark lying in my cozy bed. The current was once again doomed to somewhere. The constant black out lately is like some sort of witch or sorcerer cast a black spell to the neighbourhood. Yes, its like a few bloody times a week and it's more than sickening. I can hear myself cursing FUCK out loud when I'm occupied with my beloved computer and suddenly, the screen went pitch black and there it goes again, electricity stopped. Not only its harming my dear pc, there's practically nothing to do when there's no current. Yes its that bad. The degree of reliance towards electricity to survive or continue our daily routine is that pathetically high.

Can you believe our so called rainforest city is still always undergoing this sort of scenes.? Perhaps we're just Orang Utans wearing a human mask living in tree houses in this developing city then. At least, that's the image people living in giant cities have about the Land Below The Wind. Don't you know.? They practically think we still live in tree houses and are stark naked while going online using broadband. How sweet.

Courtesy of the recent black outs, I started to wonder why I rather spend time alone in the dark with practically nothing to do when I could have went out. I don't know why. The blazing headache perhaps.? No, I just wanted to be alone. I LOVE being alone. I don't understand why I adore it so much. I really can't explain. I want to know, I wish I knew, but I don't and now, I don't care about it. I just enjoy it.

Perhaps it's the usual thing where there's no reason behind certain thing you like so much heh.? Then why think so much about it.? Knowing that you loved and enjoy it is sufficiently enough. Why go digging the reason beneath it.? Don't go asking so many irrelevant questions that's not necessary to answer. In fact, I enjoyed it so much my dad think something is wrong with me.

Why do you spend so much time alone in your room.?

How am I suppose to answer him.? Well, I don't. It's not meant to be a question. More like a comment of his unsatisfactory towards my behaviour perhaps.? He mentioned it more than once occasionally. Sometimes followed by another complaint about what exactly do I do in my room all the time.? But then, it's always only a mere rant of him once a while that brings no further conversation. Not that I have a lot of conversation with him. Well not nowadays when I spend ninety percent of my time being a couch potato in my little world. We used to talk more when he used to fetch me to school every morning.

Anyway, the thing about being alone, I just don't understand why I do that. I'm just like that. Am I spending too much time alone then.? Is that considered unhealthy.? Why do I need so much of my own space.? But what how much is exactly considered as excess or insufficient then.? Is there a thermometer or some sort of measuring equipment to measure the human mentality needs.? Do you wish they have.?

I rather not.

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