Saturday, June 10, 2006

I'm a Klutz.!!

I have to confess, I'm an official certified klutz. Not any usual clumsy fatso who tripped once a while cause their tiny feet can't support them,(pardon me, I'm not being offensive) I'm an authentic royal klutz queen that never fails to embarrass herself out in public. Its as easy as the click of a finger. Just a piece of cake.

Which explains why I have a slight humpty dumpty phobia. When you're wearing a pair of heels and walking down the stairs in an open public place like the mall, I tend to have this gushy feeling filling all over me and some wicked voice start whispering in my ears though it felt more like an invisible person looking directly into my eyes saying,

"You're gonna fallllllllllll, you're gonna falllllllllll..!!"

Or when I come across a big pile of water or wet spot on the floor, the feeling returns. The weird phobia that I might just slip and BAM!!, falls flat with my ass landing on the ground first in front of just about a million people with their eyes staring at you boldly and laughing their heads off. And then, people would start gathering around you fishing for what had just happened and there it goes. The new circus clown in town had just performed the best trick which got the audience bursting into laughter, only its a wicked one instead of the usual genuine HAHAHA.

All of a sudden, it seems like time is under some sort of spell and the next few seconds or minutes simply just froze in your eyes whereas your loyal Swatch's minute needle never seems to able move even a tiny muscle. And you silently pray that there would be a nearby hole for you to hide inside and reemerged when the coast is clear. But then, the fugly scene is still there and unsurprisingly, you're the new laughingstock and highlight for the next few hours of those shop attendants near where you made your alarming and bright memoir.

Perhaps, that's the most embarrassing moment of your entire life. To some, its just an amusement of the day. But then, being clumsy or a klutz is no crime or black sheep or what ever. It's just what makes you learn to walk like a so called real lady which is quite absurd like you're floating. It's just you being you. Learn to be proud of it and live with it even though it seems pretty hard to be glorious about your public bashful encounters. But then, it's either you learn to accept and simply laugh about it like its no biggie, you better start learning those swan walking gliding steps with an inch thick ancient book on top of your head that you're trying damn hard to balance.

Okay, I was exaggerating. I never did mistook a step and come tumbling down the stairs in the mall, but I do have some quite humiliating historical scenes of my own. And yes, it seems like eternity before the effect finally decided to bid me farewell especially after a rather memorable nasty event but then, I lived, didn't I.? My "klutz experience" was indeed pretty humorous but not as flowery as the above. It's just to emphasize the message and make it more understandable. =)

Well, since I wrote something like this, I might as well include one of my various extremely awkward position I walked fell upon before in these almost two decades since I crawled out of my mom's belly.

Beside the pom-pom dance episode when I was 6, about 4 short years ago, I slip and fell beside the pool. And, this is no ordinary pool that's isolated in some sort Recreation Club that hardly has any regular visitations from members or some high profile clubs that's so grand that a membership cost a ridiculous five digits amount, this was a PUBLIC swimming pool. No, I'm not kidding, I was wet from head to toe and naturally there were splashes of water everywhere near the pool and perhaps I was indeed walking in a slightly faster than average pace. After all, the 16 year old me is a little shy and of course wouldn't wander around in her bathing suit and will try to return to her belongings as soon as possible. Well, klutz blood caught me and those water beneath my wet ducky feet pulled some trick that obviously and unfortunately succeeded and I fell. At least not terribly and I regain my stand as quickly as possible to avoid further embarrassment and giggles from anyone who's aware of the little action that my genes managed to create.

Yes, I was awfully embarrassed and my face was boiling hot and red of extreme humiliation while saying hello to fate that decides to throw me yet another catastrophe. But hey, its just another regular everyday stuff and I happen to have more of it and well, it's either I've grown used to it or I've learn my lesson of improvising and acceptance. Okay, so I'm not really that generous nor humble, at least just enough to share some shame shame accounts of my life and losing your balance when you're supposedly the sweet 16 teenager isn't something you share everyday.

Okay, that's one and it's enough for the record.

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