Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Toss A Coin

It was a day we were all waiting for. Another anticipating day that marks a great turn in our respective life. The path you take that will line out the rest of the entire journey. A great leap perhaps.?

A new life is about to begin.

Am I anxious.? Nervous.?

I do not know. It was a shock. The news came earlier than expected. But it sink in pretty soon. It's not the idea of starting a new life in a new place around new people. Its the fact that I'm leaving. Going away from home. For the first time. (Yes, I know I'm 20 freaking years old already and only leaving now is actually not such a big deal what so ever.)

I got pretty used with people around me leaving all the time. Furthering their studies here and there while I'm always the loyal one staying here back home and waiting for them to come back during their holidays. And being the one to leave now feels kinda different.

Here comes the time. My time.

I honestly declared that I do want to get out of here. But now when the fact tells me I am indeed will be getting away, it felt different. Uncomfortable.? Or perhaps just some mere pre-byebye-home syndrome.?

Was I rebellious in toying with my choices.? Was I wrong to allow fate decides my path while making a bundle of choices.? For merely tossing the coin while calling for heads or tails.?
But then, I wasn't someone who has the ability to will the coin to reveal the side that I prefer, or make both ends meet. I was only free to make any choices I want by simply calling 'heads' or 'tails' and let the loose ends tie themselves up when the times come. May the wind blow me to where ever it desire to. Where I supposedly belonged to.

And now they did, I'll just go.

No, please. Do not take me as a loser. Who has no stand nor enough integrity to make her own important decisions in her own life. Those that determines the following route as you're in a T-junction now, left or right.? As my dad always said.

It was too early to tell. I wasn't allowed to make a turn. Was I stuck.? No, it so happens I wasn't in a state to do so, yet. Now, I'm consented. The coin is tossed, the side is shown, and I took a turn.

3 comments:

Ianfluenza said...

Where are you heading to?

Plunny said...

UKM...In Bangi...Should be leaving sometime around next week. No more luxuries such as unlimited internet access...*Sigh*

Ianfluenza said...

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!