Your friend came to you with a sobby face and teary eyes, telling you silently and obviously that they need help. You accept them willingly with your wide open arms, having them in your embrace. Do you attend to them as if they're the fragile new born infant, or just treat them like the adult they are.?
Friends with a broken heart, or a shattered soul that come to seek refuge in you, are you then suppose to give them comforting words or just be mute and lend them a sympathetic ear plus a supporting shoulder for them to lean on.?
Or neither, you analyze their problem, pick out what's right, what's wrong and tell them what to do and what not to.? For the sake that they would not repeat the same mistake anymore.? And at that time, a rather fugly character to play as what your friend needs now is support, not point picking.? And of course if you do it in a bad way, it gets even worse and here, let us assume your advice is really good. If it's not, well, your friend should be running. Okay, perhaps they should be helping you back then.
What happens then if they did nothing wrong.? But they were hurt terribly? Do they need someone to tell them they're right, or simply someone that would hear them proclaim they are right.?
Most of them time, when friends came to you, telling you they need help (advice) or when their heart is shattered to pieces of glasses, do they really mean what they said.? Because most of the time, you'll end up listening to their rants only. I guess its right then, when friends are in need of help for their problems, help is always translated as listener.
After all, they don't need your cheesy advice, they just want a place for them to rant, for them to release themselves a little without having someone that would shoot them back. A hurt-free-zone that guarantees comfort and security. To have someone that would tell them they were right and support them regardless of the actual situation. They do not need someone else to make them feel even worse than they are already. Especially from friends. They just wanted a friend.
This is rather odd. A friend is suppose to be someone who is truthful and honest to you. Telling you whats right and wrong even though it could be unpleasant to hear so. The truth is always what we avoid, the ugliest thing to bear.
But then, why would you need a friend who would only show you their smiley face all the time and not a word of reality.? Do you really want a so called friend who could just comfort you and make you feel like hugging them all the time but when it comes to practical and realistic stuff, all they manage to do is still the same old smile.? Are you really that shallow in selecting friends.?
I guess this is when the odds and ends meet. A friend, you have to give whats best to your friend, be it a sympathetic ear, a mother's love, a view as an outsider accompanied by the sharpness and honesty regardless it might hurt.
As bad as it may seems, being hurt for the right reason when your friend reveals the truth about you that you had refused to acknowledge yourself, is better than being hurt by others that hurt you because you were too ignorant a fool. And how could you still call this a betrayal from your friend then, after all, they had been helping you. Just that it was in a rather harsh way or else it would never sink in your stubborn cells
I guess after all, a friend needs to know when to be a bitch/bastard and when to be a fluffy cozy mute little teddy bear too. Flexibility.?