Today marks the beginning of my first final exam in my campus life. And it occurs to me that I'm surrounded with people with chameleon traits. With people that's full of fun I used to hang out with taking a massive 360 degree turn with stress engraved in their forehead, a huge label with tense written on it hanging invisibly in front of them, losing their appetites and I, as the pedestrians of their life felt guilty beside them.
Its not that I'm well prepared or what, in fact I think they're much more better prepared than i am, but the thing is, I'm not as panic stricken as they are. And it puts me in rather dark place with a slight hint of light. Is it because I don't care that much for my studies or simply I mastered better stress management.?
Don't get me wrong, I love myself very much and that's why studies is crucially important for me. Whether I study or not is another different story. And I do worry for my studies, but not to the extent of losing appetite (maybe because I love food too bloody much to ignore them) or started drifting like a lifeless soul.
No, I am not point picking them are laughing at them for being such a fool. In fact, looking at them is like reflecting myself maybe I should work harder, but somehow I can't help myself from pitying them for being so stress out and the sad picture here is that they do know all these self warring system isn't doing any help but further worsen themselves prior to exam.
Maybe I should indeed work harder, I do get stressed but somehow the laziness is stronger and covered up those tense feeling. And every single person has different ways of handling what they encountered or are bound to be so.
None of us is entitled to judge or what soever, but it pains when someone close or someone you care is wearing themselves out by doing something on their own conscience that's not beneficiary and further negates them.
Its sad, yet it simply inevitable.
We can't play god, we-shouldn't-be-a-busy-body-friend-can-you-please-leave-me-alone, we can just go on living. After all, this is non of my business.? Can we still call ourselves a truthful genuine friend then.?
I guess, I'll just be who I am.
( 7 more bloody papers to go)