Monday, January 08, 2007


She asked me if I think she's tough.

I smiled at her, and felt a rather strong chemistry of something that we both possessed, a strong and tough impression to others, but inside, we're soft hearted as hell.

One slight breeze will send our heart weeping like the river, even though our images are lying to the world, standing tall and stable like a fortress able to swallow any problems all on our own, which we actually don't.

We're both ambitious people, with a tough character and most importantly, we only allow our hearts to cry silently behind the eyes of everyone.

Call us the long french bread, with soft filling inside the stone hard crust that protects us. It's something we learn and become while growing up. We're not born like that. We envied those who can just weep their heart out and cry for pity or sympathy. But we just can't. Arrogance and ego eating us alive.?

We're human too. We're not tough by nature, deep down, we still need help. We're still weak, fragile perhaps. We could be drowning in our own tears and yet, no one on earth will know, because we refuse to be known. Sad, yet it's what we seek ourselves.

I was advised to stop wallowing in self pity? Why push myself so hard to make myself feeling even worse.? As noisy as I seem to be, as tough as I appear, the real me might not be what I seem to be.

He call himself a pretender and I understand it perfectly for he's not alone. Because I once again realize that I'm being such a hypocrite to myself.

If one was to judge me through my melancholic writings, I'm perfectly sure one would surprised by my actual persona who loves to talk so much. Yes, I'm pretty talkative, and my blue coloured blood can hardly be detected. But who's to say I'm not just because I don't look like one.?

Is it only you who only know your true self.? What if you're hiding from yourself.?


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