Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I dreamt of me.

It was an unpleasant dream, but not a nightmare. A dream so real it left me feeling like I was indeed walking and breathing in the dreamland of mine. As if I was really committing an act of selfishness with no integrity, really flying away to a place so far and leave myself feeling guilty and sorry for no one else, but me.

Yet another pity one for me.

The highlight was when I woke up, and realize its only a dream, the sudden sense of relief that triggers my conscious is hugely different from what I use to feel after a nightmare. Those that disturbs our beauty sleep and shook us up with fear, and still do even after we're wide awake and realize its just a silly dream but nonetheless, the eerie feeling still lingers around and we continue calming ourselves down. A sense of relief mixed with fears and doubt.

But this, is not. The relief is like a wonderful feeling of assurance. With no timid or scared feeling that makes our hearts beat a little faster. Instead, as relieved as I was, there was questions that appears to me.

Was it real.? Or was I just hallucinating back into my dream before I dozed off once again.? Having known it was merely a dream, relief from the fact that it's something that's not happening but yet, I couldn't stop asking myself the authenticity of it.

How odd.

Was it somehow what I did in reality resembles what I dreamt that bears those questions mark.? Are my actions indeed as clear as those in my dreamland.?

Again, I had a night full of dreams. I could no longer recall what it was, but once again, it wasn't pleasant for sure.

I appear disturbed according to her. My sleep talking is getting worse, but yet she couldn't make out what I say as usual. She just said I sound not well. A rather unpleasant tone.

I wonder what would I dream again tonight.?

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