Saturday, January 20, 2007

I need time

I've always tell people to be patient, for patience is a virtue.

It's only been a week since I had that unfaithful second and yet, my patience is running out. Isn't it irony.? One short single second can make a whole lot difference to the rest of your life while sometimes, there are certain things that continue going on for ages and yet, it doesn't make a single difference. Not at all. One little humpty dumpty scene is gonna leave me with a weak left foot for the rest of my short life.

For the time being, I'm the one now who keep reminding myself to be as patient as I could, in waiting for time to pass and my piggy leg to unpig itself. For there's hardly anything I could do since it takes forever months before I get fully recovered and walk like normal again.

And all this while, I've been pretty okay with what fate had decided to fall upon me for I believe if its meant to be, it will. It's not like I've completely surrendered my life to fate and destiny and don't give a damn about it, just that when things happen, they do.

There's nothing I could do now to reverse or unwind what had happened or blame others for my unfortunate encounter that can make myself feel better. Just that sometimes I get overly frustrated with the fact that cannot be change where there's nothing I can do to make myself feel better or just to make my piggy leg less piggy.

I guess I just have to cope with the fact of waking up every morning with an excruciating pain attacking my left foot, screaming for my tender attention that's followed by a series of crutches walking moments, not to mention those horrible stairs climbing where every steps is like having those disgusting crawling bugs inside my fatty ankle eating my bone and flesh alive.

Okay, I'm exaggerating.

Forgive me for this is the place where I can rant as much as possible without feeling pressured of being difficult or having to respond to those immediate emotions drawn in their face or keep ranting bout my myself like a teenager craving for attention.

Just that sometimes you just need to release yourself a little and you can't possible aimed at other people all the time because it would be unfair to them. Especially to those who's been lending their helping hand to you and I guess the least I could do is spare them from my rantings. I don't wanna take advantage of their sympathy or good will of helping the limping miss Kelly.

And now, I just have to learn as time goes by, to be more patient, to love my torn ligament more, to love my weak left footie more, to love my crutches more, to make myself feel more worth while and of course, to love myself more. =)

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