Monday, March 12, 2007

I like what I wrote, but I don't know what is it.

I've changed.? As that's what I've been told lately.? Not that I actually felt I did.? Does it matter then.? At least to me.? But I really love to know, have I.? Or simply I'm starting to reveal my true blue side to those around me.?

I do not mind being told I've changed, physically or mentally.

I won't get mad if you said I've put on weight. I am not bimboish enough too consider being called fat as the ultimate taboo of the lady community. Nor that I would consider those who did as committing the world biggest crime and deserve to be penalize for calling a lady fat.

I don't mind if you said I've became extra noisy or typically quieter than usual. I'm sorry if my nuisance had caused you extreme annoyance. I'm sorry if suddenly I'm too quiet and you felt repelled and withdrawn yourself from asking me tonnes of question nor dare to pour you usual self to me. I am here, even though I looked flown away to a place so far. Do not be deceived, I am still very fine.

I won't give a damn if you said I'm a straight forward bitch who stab you right in front and pierce you directly on the very untouchable black spot. I'll be glad that I'm able to look you in the eyes and be genuinely honest. But forgive me if I hurt you for I did it under good intentions, to wake you up by shoving the truth in front of your nose in a rather harsh way.

I'm sorry if I hurt you by being myself but I will not feel sorry for being who I really am. I would feel terribly sorry for you, if you couldn't be who you really are, for a reason so foolish and it wasn't even for you, but for others who doesn't and never would do the same for you. Nor would they ever realize what you not so secretly did. This is not noble, nor generous, but an idiotic act that no one appreciates but your foolish heart that brings no return but only further degradation and depression to the drowning you.

Wake up my dear soul, before its too late. If you think its worth it, by all means go for it. But if reality proves otherwise, perhaps the time have finally come to leave the dream that does not exist. You cannot live forever in a dream that's unproductive, it doesn't move and so are you. Life goes on, it does not wait. If you do not, time would bury you alive. Stranded in your very own non-existent utopia that will never be within your reach. How sad, yet you're only as good as a dead person.

Stop while you can. It just take a second to have the courage and be brave enough to go for it. Do not be shattered nor tempted to sink down, it is not wise, nor it is right. Grab this very second and go. Do not turn back, for its the front you're heading to. Do not even try to hesitate and doubt your obviously much better choice of route. Do not live life by walking in a reversed way, for it does not take long before you stumble upon a rock that befalls you. It is not wrong to look back for inspiration once a while, but do not ponder too long, for it had happened, and extra gaze doesn't unwind things. Nothing will, for we are just human.

You would not be labeled coward for not trying to tackle a dreamy challenge. You'll be the world class fool to attempt what's that beyond your reach for its not because you couldn't or shouldn't but because it can't be done and therefore shouldn't. It is not an abandoned challenge, it is not even qualified to be addressed as a challenge that push you further up with improvement, but rather a dead end that mislead you. For your so called wisdom, ego and self obsession had brought you on to a journey that provides no destination.

And thou shall know, thy possess no super powers nor magic to cast a spell that promises everlasting victory nor happiness.

So live life lively my dearest soul.

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