Thursday, June 21, 2007

Trying

There's more than once that I realised I'm too caught up living in my little world that I simply became unaware or chose to ignore whatever that's happening around me. Somehow deep down I believe that this isn't right.

The constant feeling of not knowing what you feel isn't exactly such a pretty thing. The invisible shield that I unknowingly build for myself seems to suddenly lit a small fire within my brain cells, was it intended to warm, or warn me.?

It is highly unusual for me to be not talking at all and it wasn't even because I was sulking or in a major mood swing. I was just being quiet. Period. In fact, I was feeling rather good and at that particular moment, keeping to myself is actually making me happy, less blue.

It seems good, no talk no trouble.

But sometimes, this would just appear to those who are close to you that you are somehow, not right. And you wonder, are they right? Or you're just growing up a little too fast in a short period? That you found peace in talking to yourself and keep quiet in front of others?

I've always enjoy being alone even when I'm home, or away from home. And perhaps I've just climbed another level where being on my own, means more than it used to be. For good.

Okay, so enough of those rather weird writing that I myself have no idea what it actually meant. Lets get to some normal human rants that will never cease. Infinite.

Hostel renovation on junior blocks apparently are preparing seniors' single rooms for them because first years are obliged to stay in hostel. Obviously, new seniors like me and others who are still staying in hostel and has yet to move out, are chucked out to another hostel.

This doesn't bother me that much but the fact that this hostel are about 15 minutes ride OUTSIDE of campus and I would have to rely on uni's shuttle service that's never punctual for 5 days a week with the most scattered lecture hours you can ever imagine. Not to mention weekends trip to KL seems more unlikely.?

On the other side, I guess it's time for me who's been so far so lucky to secure the most strategic located hostel in the entire campus now are shipped off to the least one. Time to really grasp that experience perhaps.? Or reality.?

Let's just hope they keep their word and its only a month we're shifted though we dare not get our hopes high. I assume with how effective these people are, I give it at least 2 months. And I thought I was being mean. That's when the hostel student board told us boldly that it would most probably take one whole term.

Ain't that just great.

Will be leaving tomorrow to my birth place, Sandakan for a couple of days and most importantly, celebrate dear grandpa's eightieth birthday. Till then.

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