Friday, August 03, 2007

Lonely walks

As much as I hate public transport, I loved the moments of small short walks that brings me to certain destinations, alone.

I enjoy the company of my broken umbrella, the silence that walks with me, the exposure of the surrounding environment seems to be whispering straight to my ears, words of comfort in the form of wind and sometimes, direct sunlight. The company of certain strangers that I find rather interesting, yet so far away for me to embraced.

And on top of that, my mind is free to wander to anywhere it desires. When there's not anyone with me at that moment, no current attachment that lingers to my every single movement nor words that comes out from my witty mouth. And again, the beauty of it is that my mind is set free to drift to any aspect that it favours without having to feel the sense of responsibility. Nor is there any necessity to feel guilty if suddenly, some twisted idea suddenly pops out that for sure is not getting any nods.

The bright side of a quiet sanctuary that one could only crave so much, for night falls and darkness announces itself whether we like it or not.

As much as one love to be alone, or as much as on longed for a companion, there are time when during these loneliness that you hope someone could be just there to listen or for you to blab to so the air won't be so still, so quiet, so dead.

There also the time when you feel like digging a gigantic hole and just dive in and hide from the rest of the world, to have no eyes seeking for you, no fat fingers pointing at you. And you just feel free to render in the little world of your own, undisturbed.

Somehow, it still freaks me out. Certain distance where there's just weird looking strangers that gives me the creeps. Always reminding myself to use my elbow in case some maniac decided to grab me from behind. And I actually wrote this on the way back to hostel in the bus, alone. Isn't exactly the prettiest memory one could get, especially after the beautiful record of UKM's hijacked bus, I'm not thrilled. At all.

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