Monday, October 08, 2007

Still the same

When I was 12, I remember the anxiety of the first ever HUGE examination of my life that I had to sit. And I sort of went a little havoc and since our beloved country’s language was my weakest subject, I turn for my loyal Kamus Dewan for help. I actually started reading the dictionary like its a regular R.L Stine horror novel that I used to crave during that pre-teen era of mine.

I remember not even finishing A before my mom thought I was crazy and also that I couldn't even recall what exactly does the new word I just learnt actually meant even right after reading them.

I guess my obstinate mind had finally registered the fact that the dictionary could be really interesting if you know what word to look for, and providing its an enlightening word, but it is hardly attractive when you have to groom over every single word that most of time, promises regularity, normalcy and sometime you don't even know what they're crapping about. And that 's hardly appealing to any 12 year old even if its me and I'm weird.

It's hard to believe and kinda amusing that even at an age so young when my mind is still not that contaminated and still quite naive, my stubborn traits are already surfacing everywhere.

Roots are hard to change.? I'm not brought up to be a stubborn bitch that closes my mind when confronted with something I disagree with, I just became one as the days sweeps me further away with reality's ugliness and truth to be told, I didn't even realise it. Of course not until this character that earn you a reputation of being difficult or just very unique started to land me in problematic situation day by day.

Does that stop me from not being the thick minded lady I am today and who knows tomorrow? Well, it doesn't.

I just happen to be a fool who stick to her so called uniqueness or weirdness and try to stay happy while act like a smartie, even if I'm not.

But who's to judge that.? =)



1 comment:

James said...

people change, you are not an exception, perhaps its just minuscule. you may not realised it.
take a snapshot now and live another 10 years to compare, you will see what i mean.