Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's always gonna be there.

Do you go to bed every night hoping for a better day tomorrow? I find it indifferent. Yet it is perfectly acceptable to hope and not unusual at all.

Hope itself is a beautiful thing, and it's always brought together with faith.

I find my own conscience sinking, heart drowning in my own lost of hope. Faith that have gone to a place so far it seems impossible to the pessimist me to even attempt retrieving it.

It is sad. It's never a merry thing. I believe its even worse to be perfectly clear about it, but not capable of feeling it. Not even the slightest bit.

Recently, a family friend passed away. When my mom mentioned her obituary, not only I couldn't recall who she was, when I did, I was shocked, and felt a little pity, for probably a minute. Or less so.

This is not good.

How could I be so heartless.?

Has emotion abandoned my heart?

Or did my heart really emptied on its own?

Time is suppose to heal, but what if there was no injury or damage to recover from.?

Or perhaps what that heals is not time?

Time is simply to make things easier as you learn to accept, to deal and finally face it no matter how hideous it was.

It does not necessarily make the wound or scar disappear forever.

You just learn to ignore it better and be less affected by it.

And when you least expect, you don't even realise there's actually a scar there.

No matter how visible it was, it is now invisible.

At least to your eyes.

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