Friday, May 30, 2008

Want vs Should

Despite the fact that I consider myself quite a narcissist and arrogant person, I can still be distracted by the slightest confusion. To the extent that I could spend hours and even days thinking about the same old thing.

Even weirder is that not only I kept running over it in my mind about what I should do and what I want to do, I've actually made a decision about it eons ago.

Yet I kept replaying it, allowing it to drag me further into unnecessary confusion and doubts.

I believe that most of us have somehow a rough idea or even a clear mind on what we decide to do, yet we could not trust ourself with it that we look for other resources to confirm our thoughts or even strengthen it.

To gain reassurance to make ourself feel better? Or simply to boost our confidence? Or perhaps, just to hear what we want and expect to hear from those we seek advices from?

But what if what was said or returned wasn't what we wanted to hear? And instead of making us feel better, it makes it worse?

Are we then left with a dampen spirit instead of a lightened one?

What does one do then? To be further influenced? Or finally stand firm on our own feet on what we have decided much earlier that have pretty much been thickened and tarnished at the same time?

What do you do then?

To act on yourself or others that you have desperately reach out for?

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