Friday, October 17, 2008

So take a look.

I find it odd that everytime I'm about to write something, the first line that comes into my mind is, " It's been a while since I wrote"

Ironic isn't it.

It's interesting how so many things can happen in such a short period. Sometimes things were going so fast you didn't even realise it was actually moving.

Does it feel like, every other things and everyone else is going at this pace, but not you?

It feels even more indifferent when instead of being apart of your own life, you felt like a spectator watching your life story playing in front of you. Featuring some stranger that unbelievably looks like your long lost identical twin, yet so different in some ways that cannot be explain. Is it possible for one person to be so much alike yet completely different too at the same time?

Time seems to have frozen while everything just flies through without even saying goodbye. Or perhaps, it is not time that had stop, but yourself. Remaining stationary in a hideous emotional spot, unintended, unwilling, unable, to take the long awaited bow, or even move a step away from it.

Spending every second available trying to keep up with every tiny little things that is happening simultaneously, and at the end of the day, maybe, you'll feel some relief and perhaps a wee bit of satisfaction that you have fully utilized your day.

But sometimes, somehow, when you reach a point, you realise, you were so busy catching up with everything else that you forgot where you were already. Focusing in staying where you are and completely forgetting that there's no one left here, but yourself, wallowing in a pool of bottomless self-pity.

Trying perhaps a little too hard to not leave and keep tracks with everything happening in the world, causing your own world to be abandoned. Alone its own little miserable corner, waiting for it's own master to come to it at least, even if its just for a moment, or two.

If you have finally come to the stage where you realise you're losing track of yourself, perhaps you should stop? And let everything falls into its own place? Without giving an extra push? Or at least just for a day?

Maybe for once, you can actually play your own role in the story you're watching. And this time, as the main character, not an audience.

Can you?


Anonymous said...

it could be, if you have a lot of guts......


Plunny said...